In the Bible, marriage is described as "becoming of one flesh".
Conversationally, people call it "the happiest day of their life".
And a popular rock group refers to it as the "death of a bachelor".
But me? There's only one thing I call marriage and anything that relates to it:
Scary.
As a 16 year old, the idea of being bounded to one person for the rest of my life by both the law and Church is downright terrifying to imagine. I mean, most people can't even commit to a diet, what more a human being?
It all just seems too much. Too restricting. Too tight. Having so much freedom in your youth then suddenly forcing yourself into a cage of commitment has always been an aspect of the whole ordeal that's horrified me. After all, why clip your wings now when you know how far you could be flying?
I thought I had figured out the ultimate hole in this grand plot.
But then, I heard about Ms. Marissa and Mr. Spencer's story.
The first time my mom told me about them over breakfast, I couldn't help the way their tale piqued my interest. I mean, how could it not, when within a single meal, they were able to completely change my perception of marriage forever.
Through their travels, I've realized that exchanging vows does not mean trading in freedom. It is not encaging yourself, but finding someone to take flight with.
Through their relationship, I've understood that a union does not mean the separation of choice for the upcoming years. It's not subjecting yourself to resolves that force you to remain in a place where you no longer want to be in. It's picking one person who makes you feel like every ending is a brand new beginning.
Through their position in each others' lives, I've seen that getting down on one knee for a woman does not mean dropping all chances for spontaneity and excitement for the rest of your days. It is not reading the same chapter of your life over and over again. It's lifting up every day as an opportunity to write new pages for your story until your legacy is a library of your love.
Through their story, I now know that marriage is not being with someone who you feel you must stick with out of obligation for initial commitment. It is not convincing yourself that the wrong things are right. It is being with someone that makes you believe in fate, and more importantly, creates your own personal version of it together.
I never believed in the concept of soul mates-- the idea that there only exists one person who is truly meant for you has always been a ridiculous one to consider. But through them, I have seen that, yes, we do all have a match made in Heaven. We do all have that one person crafted by God specifically for us. But how am I so sure Ms. Marissa and Mr. Spencer fit the bill?
Well, that's because all great miracles require a little divine intervention, and I'm certain that him cutting her car off on that momentous day on the way to work had more to do with a higher deity pulling some strings from above, than the hectic rush hour traffic they must have blamed it on.
And suddenly, with a story like theirs, marriage doesn't seem all that scary anymore.