In our lives, we've all had toxic people spread their poison. They bedraggle us until finally, we are completely and utterly contaminated with their virus. But despite this, we still don't make any move to find a cure. This is not out of neglect or laziness, but instead, pure choice. They're like psychological barbed wires- once we get attached, it becomes difficult to get out without hurting ourselves in the process. People will tell us to leave-- to try and escape the clutches of our captor because "you don't deserve that kind of pain". But sometimes, if to hurt is all we've ever known, it becomes hard to distinguish the difference between too much and typical. We've grown so accustomed to the discomfort that we subconsciously re-mold our tolerance to make the inner torment we feel appear normal.
And that, my dear, is the problem-- We allow them to get inside us until we are left with nothing but a friable shell of who we were.
When someone no good for us walks into our lives, we almost always ask them to stay even once we've seen their true colors. Their sudden appearance disrupts our routine-- they create a ripple in our undisturbed flow of events. They shake things up in a way that leaves us curious and wanting to know more. So we get closer to them, constantly trying to figure out who they are so that we can tell ourselves what we need to be for them. This is unhealthy in every way-- we should never grow so accustomed to suffering to the point that we begin to crave it.
There are things that can leave an impact on a person, but there are also things that can twist and knock us out. Some people rely too heavily on the concept of "one day" that they allow people to continuously abuse their kindness by justifying it with a "it'll pass one day". But what if that one day never comes? Or what if that one day comes 24 hours too late and we've already become a manifestation of all the pain we've harbored? Toxic people have a funny way of destroying you-- they don't do it in one go, and they don't do it quickly. Instead, these merciless figures opt for a slow burn-- dropping little specks of pain into our system everyday until finally we're drowning in our negativity. They drain you out, wear you down, and make you want to give up. But that's the principle of life; We experience hate, judgements, criticism,and all kinds of it. What do we do though? We choose to stay silent.
And that's exactly where we go wrong.
You see, every time you recognize toxicity in someone but allow them to stay in your life nonetheless, you imply that you would rather suffer than see them go. You put their feelings before yours, regardless of how badly you're hurting. But the problem with placing a negative person first is that you've taught the world that you and your right to happiness comes second.
Know your worth, and once you've discovered this, never let anyone convince you that you're anything less. You're the author of your own story. You own the pen, the control is within your hands. Stop waiting for that one day when things will get better. Don't leave it all up to chance. Instead, give yourself that chance by being proactive and choosing to
pursue your personal happiness.
In our lives, we've all had toxic people spread their poison. They bedraggle us until finally, we are completely and utterly contaminated with their virus.
But today is a new day. And this time, it's time we work towards understanding that to heal a wound, we must stop touching it.
This was a collaboration with Jaymie Dela Cruz (textual content) and Diane Jacinto. (photography). Click here to check out Jaymie's blog, and here for Teriz's blog and here for her photography.
This can also be viewed on the Issuu website or app as a digital zine. Click here to see it.